Humanity: Raw & Unfiltered
What we think and say to ourselves does create our feelings. We want to tell ourselves confident, positive and encouraging things. We want to do this because what we tell ourselves, our thoughts, guide what we do.
A client of mine ‘Mark’, (37 years old) had given up alcohol two years before. By his admission, he couldn’t drink without messing up his life. The problem he was having was the recurring thought that he, “Had no control.” It bothered him that he had no choice but to be sober which he interpreted as being out of control and this was painful to him. No amount of intellectual reasoning he did would help how he felt. He even said to me, “Susan, I know I could look at it as I am in control, or I’ve got even more control now that I don’t drink. Doesn’t make me feel better, though.” We explored what he could tell himself, to make him feel better. He started with, “I make choices all day long. I am in control.” He left our session and practiced this till our next session a week later. He told me that it almost worked. He said he realized he liked his life and that he’s made it good. That’s it I said! “I like my life, and I’ve made it.” That’s yours for sure. He shortened it and made his personal encouragement statement, “I like my life.”
It doesn’t have to be complicated!
Before you do the following exercise notice what you tell yourself. Your clue, where to begin, is when you notice emotional discomfort. What did you just tell yourself? Chances are you will find that you’ve just told yourself something that is not very encouraging or even downright mean.
What would you say if you were talking to a friend? Would you say the same thing you are telling yourself? I often ask my clients what they’d say to a 10-year-old. Would you speak to a 10-year-old like you are speaking to yourself? This invariably gets a reaction from them like (a little smile), “Well of course NOT.” Experiment with the following exercise and be gentle on yourself, please.
Confident Self-Talk:
- Write down three encouraging, positive statements for yourself.
- Practice using them for a week.
- Modify them after a week. Continue using the statements that uplift you and make you feel more confident.
Be well and BE nice to yourself,
Susan Miner
Susan Miner, M.A. went from posing and ‘giving face’ as a model to teaching and serving as a Psychology professor and counselor. Currently, as President and Founder of Beauty From the Inside Out, Susan is an Inspirational Leader and Mentor. As a keynote speaker, workshop presenter, author and counselor, Susan is committed to helping individuals with beauty from the inside out. Her unique approach combines energy healing and traditional psychological techniques that leave her clients feeling more relaxed and focused even after only a few minutes of work. She is known for her successful treatment for anxiety.
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Susan Miner, MA
Supermodel. Former Super-MESS. Therapist. Founder. Author.
Hi! I’m Susan and I’m on a mission to stop the epidemic of over 40 million Americans who suffer from anxiety. With 21 years of experience as a therapist specializing in fear and anxiety reduction, I have taken my knowledge and practices and created my signature Beautiful Energy program to help my clients shift from dragging around anxiety to living their best, most peace-filled and calm-filled lives. I am also the author of Peace Inside~Beauty Outside. I look forward to each new morning because my clients are getting amazing results. They are using what I teach them to bring real peace and calm into their previously anxious minds and bodies. This is more than a job; it’s a way of life. And I know it’s possible.
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